Etta:
I believe for those who wanted to bring their parents, it's not something to be afraid of because the life that is celebrated from the past coming into the facility, it's still celebrated until the very end of life.
Brian:
I think we might have unwittingly underestimated the level of trauma that there is in making that final decision that your life is different.
Gwen:
I think I was 92 when I came in here. Three practically.
Brian:
Mum had a bit of preconceptions about what aged care was like from her own mother, and that would play in the back of your mind. And I know it's changed a lot since then, but that was her initial experience of it being very clinical and hospital ish versus home style.
Gwen:
I loved swimming. I was a good swimmer. Not professionally, not like they have today. So much training and used to be years ago, never heard of it. Now
Carol:
With having children myself, I learned a terrible lot and I've enjoyed every bit of it. Yeah, yeah. I had a very sick husband. 2006, he passed away for 13 years. Before that he was very, very sick and I nursed him till, yeah, yeah. I'm an original Heath Coter. My father, when he moved to Heath coat, there was only 42 families in heath coat and the highway was a dirt road when I was growing up as a child and we had to catch the steam train or the roll to wherever we were going, and it's lots of changes. Would've felt rural at the time. Right. Carol? Very rural at the time, very rural. It was a good time growing up there. A good time growing up. Yeah.
Grace:
Well, I've got a very interesting background because my dad moved all the time, so I moved and saw a lot of towns along the way. Went to a lot of different schools. It was hard at times because I couldn't say goodbye to friends. I'd get home and dad would say, pack up, we're moving. So yes, I've had a very interesting childhood.
Sheridan:
We grew up in a small little town, little mining town, and mom would see elderly people coming out of the shops with all these bags of groceries and I have these very distinct memories of mom running after them and grabbing the bags and then she'd find out by chance that they were walking home. So mom would put them in the car and drive them home and then mom would become friends with them and your mom would be saying, I'm going to this person's house. I'm going to have a cup of tea. And then while she was there, she'd clean the house for them or things. And I was around that a lot as a child. So for me growing up, I think what I learned best from her was how to look after other people, how to put other people's needs above your own. And I think there's no better lesson to teach your kids than that.
Margaret:
The transition of helping mum move into the reality of this was the next phase of her life for me was quite stressful because amongst all of this, my husband died so I was in a different space and the actual packing up of the home unit where she lived to the ceiling to the move was terrible for all of us, but most especially mum.
Brian:
And one of the key things which Etta will pick up on is that St. Vincent offered respite. So you could come in and you could experience it and mum took the advantage of that.
Margaret:
That's a very good thing that it's offered because it really, that was a step that mum took quite comfortably. Yes. I think wondering in her own mind, well if I don't like it, I won't be going. Don't have, I think, but think I'm not too sure, but she remained there.
Leonie:
Do you remember Gwen, when I got that scarf, how excited it was because we both liked the color purple, don't we? Yes.
Gwen:
That's
Leonie:
Why we loved the color purple. We have a lot of things that are similar.
Gwen:
They were very helpful knowing it was what I wanted to do. They weren't asking me to go into care. I just felt it was time to go.
Margaret:
Quite often the time is needed probably for all those involved, the family as well as the resident to be for it to gel into place and for them to come to terms with this is right, we have to do this. It's needed.
Brian:
I got to spend as the youngest child because Margaret and my brother had left home, got to spend a lot more time with just mum and dad. And mum had a feisty temper. But overall, all what permeates her whole life is family.
Etta:
Whether you like it or not, she speaks her heart out. And I adore that because once she pos it out, that's fine. She's wonderful.
Margaret:
She wasn't always like that. She has become more like that as she's got older and more like that. Since she's been a resident at Edge Lift, I felt valuable to really go around and view other places and talk to the whoever was not at the desk, but the manager so that you can really compare and know that your choice is right for you.
Gwen:
I came and had a look here a couple of times before I decided I've never regretted the decision.
Brian:
One thing I didn't talk about a little bit earlier, but I find is mum is strong in her faith and always has been. And the pastoral care that is provided gave mum that outlet. It facilitated that outlet, which was important to her. So again, another thing about maybe considering when you're looking at an aged care resident that's part of a person's life as an example, then can the residents provide that and support that?
Carol:
I had two big falls in my bathroom, my walker, it's not that walker, it's another walker. I got tangled up in it. The hallway was quite long right up to the other front door. I was able to crawl up to the hallway, up the hallway to get to the phone. I was able to pull the phone down, ring my neighbor down the front, and she came up and her husband came up, saw me tangled up in my walker. That was the second fall. And then the hospital wouldn't let me go home because of the falls I had. Yes. So then I had to look for something, but I already did my homework quite a few months beforehand. I had an interview Atine at a nursing home at Aged Care at ine. And then my second one was at St. Vincent's Care. They were wonderful with the interview that I had with them and I was able to put my name down. And when the time came, when I was ready to leave hospital, my son had to ring St. Vincent's care to see when a room was available. I had to wait a week.
Mark:
And I think that's been your secret, hasn't it, Carol? Yes. That from the very onset, this is not new. She's been considering aged care and she had planned it. She had thought about it. And that helped you transition into the age care. It helped
Carol:
Me a terrible
Mark:
Lot. And you were in control on your terms.
Carol:
Yes, it was my terms. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. My son and daughter-in-Law helped me. They helped me do it. They took me to the interviews and so I could see, they showed me around. They showed me around at Undine, they showed me around at Heath Coat and it was just fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And when I had a look around at Heath Coat and Vincent's Care, I thought, I'd love to come here. I could see all the beautiful gardens. Gardens are absolutely beautiful. And I said to my son, if I can come here, I'll be very happy. And I feel as though I've come home.
Grace:
It came when my husband and I were traveling around Australia and he said to me at the time, we'd been on the road for a couple of years, he said, we have to think that we are not going to be able to live like this for. And we did. We put our name down at a place in Queensland, which was going to be like a family sort of a unit with a lounge room and where we thought this could be us. When we get off the road
Sheridan:
After dad passed away, which obviously was not in their plant, it was very sudden. And so it was a big shift for the whole family like this. All of a sudden everything's just turned on its head and everything's changed. So mum and dad at that point in time were in Taree. So I went up and picked her up and brought her back to Sydney, brought her back to my house, and you dunno what you're going to do at that point in time. So when the discussion of aged care come up, I mean it was a hard one. It wasn't an easy conversation in that we are factoring in all these different emotions about life has just changed so dramatically and so quickly. So I didn't say to her, Hey, I live across the road from St. Vincent's in Heath Cope. Why don't you just move in there?
I was more like, what do you want? We can look at different venues, we can look at different places. Because I wanted her to be, no matter what, happy and well cared for. And that had to be the number one priority. But honestly, you couldn't go past it. You looked at so many other places and really couldn't fault you couldn't fault it. It definitely wasn't an easy transition across initially because I was concerned about her mental health. I was concerned about her physical health, all those kinds of things. And we're also still grieving too. We're still mourning the loss of my dad and mom's husband. So it was a lot. It was a lot. But I don't think if you had told me back then how this would've turned out, I wouldn't have believed you.
Grace:
We do drawing. We do any bingo there. Oh yeah, there's bingo. Yeah. Bit of Boch.
Sheridan:
It is so far beyond what anyone can ever conceive. Just how well mom's done, the positive impact it's had on her life and consequently ours. Our relationship has changed and it's so much better. I think we already had a good relationship, but I think mom had probably attest to that. I think we're closer now than we've ever been. And she's closer to my kids. Everything has just gotten so much better. And just to see how happy she is and how much she's thrived. Just
Etta:
She has a coffee and sometimes she doesn't come down and I'll make sure that her coffee is taken up to the walk.
Margaret:
Oh, she's mentioned
Etta:
That. She's
Sheridan:
Mentioned that.
Margaret:
I would say it's a journey and we dunno how long that journey is going to be, of course, but just to be by their side and hold their hand.
Etta:
It's not something to be afraid of because the life that is celebrated from the past coming into the facility, it's still celebrated until the very end of life. And I think that's the most important thing.
Brian:
They do celebrate it. The milestones are celebrated, the individuals are celebrated. Somebody like Etta comes in with a beaming smile. Those sorts of things do create a community where there is a level of love, a level of respect, a level of human interaction. So it's something to be embraced, I think, as your next stage.
Sheridan:
It's just the greatest adventure that I think we've now gone on together in the last few years. And I don't think either of us ever saw this coming. We didn't.
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